Humanity On Purpose

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

I just got word that the same team that came together to help make me a best-selling author last year, is doing it again in 2010.

If you feel that you’ve got a book in you, but either haven’t started, or don’t know where to start then working with this team will without a doubt get you where you want to be.

I highly recommend Lynne, Kathleen and Christine. They not only helped make a dream of mine become a reality, but they did it within 1 year – AMAZING!

They’re doing a free preview call to introduce you to their next book – the one that you can also be a part of in 2010.

Click here to learn more and join the call about it.

http://tinyurl.com/y8omo4m

Don’t let 2010 end before you become a published author!

1. Not in a niche – Many coaches spend their days trying to be everything for everyone and end up spreading themselves too thin. There are a lot of coaches out there and your job is to make yourself stand out in the crowd. This is difficult to do when you’re offering everything from tax preparation to spiritual guidance. When people are shopping for household items, they want a place where they can find it all; however when they’re shopping for a doctor to help with a skin condition they want a specialist, someone who knows the ins and outs of their specific problem and as a coach, this is where you want to be as well.

2. Too many specialties – Just the opposite of not having a niche, some coaches try to specialize in too many things. They’re Business, Personal, Executive, Spiritual, Financial, etc… coaches. Similar to not being in a niche, this also spreads you too thin and keeps you away from those who could potentially be your best clients by confusing them with your marketing message or website. Try to keep yourself limited to about 3 specialties and no more if possible.

3. Service is seen as a luxury item – As a coach, it’s important to set yourself and your service up to be seen as a necessity, or at the very least something that’s not seen as a luxury item. When economic conditions for people go South, the first place they start cutting their expenses is usually in the ‘Luxury – nice to have, but not needed’ category. It’s best to be seen as a partner and as someone who can help them through these times, rather than as a hindrance to their success.

4. Giving too much away to friends and family – I’ve heard many stories, and experienced this more often than I’d like to admit. As a life coach we position ourselves as people who care about others, and that’s because we truly do. So much so in fact that often we spend extra time, or give away our services to friends and family members who are in need without asking for anything in return. This time while personally fulfilling, can easily turn into a nightmare to get under control once you open the flood-gates. Although it’s wonderful to help everyone who comes to you, it’s important to also keep an eye on what you’re spending your time on to ensure your business remains viable.

5. Too many free sessions – Just as we sometimes give too much away to friends and family, sometimes its genuine clients that are on the receiving end of our generosity as well. I’ve heard of coaches who have spent so much time during a free intro session with a client that the clients find they no longer need a coach. There are also clients who will ask for extra time, call excessively, send email or use any other means of getting additional service. While it’s great to be able to provide this extra level of service, make sure you place some boundaries around your time and ensure they understand your limits. In addition, if you do choose to offer a free intro session, keep it limited to a certain amount of time, with the main purpose not being to solve every issue they’ve ever had, but instead to test the waters and see if they fit your ideal client and whether or not you’ll be the best coach for them.

6. Only charging by the hour – This one was a little hard for me to swallow when I first heard it; however after spending more time with it, I get it! When clients hire you, they’re hiring you for a specific result that they have in mind. For example, when a client hires me they’re generally trying to find their life’s purpose. Once I’ve helped them find it, we can move into integrating it into their lives; however these are two different results. The first being the finding of their life purpose, and the second being living more purposefully. Rather than your client having you on retainer, try flat rate pricing for the results they’re seeking. You’ll find that you can probably charge them more appropriately, sell them on the benefits easier and save yourself the grief of working with them beyond the point of your expertise, or niche. There are times when charging by the hour is appropriate, test it out in a few places and see what you think.

7. Not valuing their service enough – Valuing your service is one thing, but then asking someone to pay for it is quite another when it comes to coaching. Most of us enjoy what we do and because of that we sometimes find it difficult to understand why someone would want to pay us to do it. As a result we often undervalue what we’re giving to our clients and in the process charge bargain basement prices. This can lead to a few problems for you that can be difficult to overcome down the road when you increase your rates. Price your services on-par with those who offer services similar to yours, try it out; if it doesn’t work then adjust it. When quoting rates to your potential client if it feels a little uncomfortable to say it, then you’re probably on track – however if it feels totally wrong, then bring it down a few notches. Just remember there is value in what you’re offering, if there wasn’t they wouldn’t be looking for a coach in the first place.

8. Not understanding or in tune with target audience – Sometimes this is caused as a result of being in the wrong market or niche or by your having too many specialties as mentioned above. Generally speaking, you will most likely find your target audience is someone who either has gone through, or is going through something that you yourself have also experienced and are therefore better equipped to help them. If you’ve crashed a few businesses and then built them back up, perhaps it’s working with struggling entrepreneurs, or those who have recently lost a business. If you find that you’re unable to relate to any of your clients, then you may just be in the wrong market, adjust it and see if things get better. You’ll find when you’re in tune with them, it’s not only easier to help them, but it’s also easier to find them which is the subject of our next mistake.

9. Don’t know how to get new clients or where to find them – This is a biggie, because if you don’t have any clients, then you aren’t going to be in business for long. As I mentioned in the last tip, it’s important to be in tune with your audience and in the right market. If you know the problems they face, then you also know where you might find them. If you work with architects, then perhaps it’s at a professional conference, in a trade journal, or through your local chapter of a national architect organization. Once you’ve found them it’s just a matter of hitting the right nerves with your marketing messages and positioning your services as both very valuable and also a necessary component of their success. Sell them on the benefits, not on the details – start a conversation, find an opportunity to speak to a group, write for a trade publication or online e-zine, – the goal is to get your message out, and most importantly, in front of the right group.

10. Not managing time effectively – The final mistake I’ll cover has to do with how as a coach you manage your own time. Everyone’s reason for becoming a coach varies, specialties vary, and clients will vary, however one thing remains consistent; we all are responsible for managing our own time, and time is our most precious resource. Do your best to schedule things in advance, build in time between clients, and ensure that there’s some ‘you time’, ‘family time’, and ‘fun time’ built into your week as well. Practice what you’re teaching your clients, and spend the time you need in order to keep yourself organized, healthy, mentally sharp and emotionally ready.

These are just a sampling of some of the most common mistakes coaches make. If you’re already a coach, then you probably know of others, and if you’re just getting started, you’ll no doubt create some of your own. Use these as a guide to help you get started or revamp your existing practice and remember, if you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not learning!

Several weeks back I was sitting at home and watching the movie : ‘Julie/Julia’ – If you’ve seen this movie, or read the book, then you’re probably guessing where this might be going… A few days later I received the inspiration to do my own blog similar to Julie’s, however with my own ‘Passions’, which you may be happy to know don’t include cooking! – (my family is anyway) So what was I going to blog about? I enjoy teaching, writing, and learning so how can I use that in an On-Purpose way?

It took only a few minutes and I had the answer! A few months ago I was selected to participate in a year long mentorship program with none other than Jack Canfield – of ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’, ‘The Secret’, and the book which this blog will be based off of; ‘The Success Principles’. I decided that this was the perfect place to start – I would use his book – the one which I am going to be training others on – and walk my own talk. What a great way to start 2010 and to kickoff my training seminars based off of Jack Canfield’s work and his Success Principles.

Stop by and learn more about the project today, I’ll be spending much of my time here over the next year – I hope you do as well! – www.TheJoshuaJackProject.com

By William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

The Man in the Arena
by Theodore Roosevelt

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

The holiday season can be a time of great joy or great sadness.  If you have a friend or loved one who is coping with a job loss, death, serious illness, or home foreclosure, it can be hard to know how to help.

These tips from the authors of Overcomers Inc: True stories of hope, courage, and inspiration will help.

1. Be sensitive to your loved ones’ limited financial resources. If your brother’s just lost his job, bragging about your holiday ski trip would be cruel.  Instead, suggest low-cost or free holiday gift suggestions so that everyone can participate, even if money is tight.
2. For the recently widowed or others who are in mourning, don’t avoid mentioning the departed family member. Gently reminisce about favorite family memories.  It’s better to speak of the departed that to carefully avoid all mention of his or name.  Follow the lead of the person in grief.  If the discussion is too difficult, she will change the subject.  Many times, the widow or widower will appreciate the chance to share a memory of the lost loved one.
3. Allow people to have their space, but watch out for isolation.  Stress and grief can be exhausting.  Your friend or family member may not be up to the traditional all day shopping trip or noisy holiday party.  Let her set the pace.  However, if you sense that your loved one is withdrawing from everything, consider stopping by for a quiet visit or a cup of tea.  Loneliness is most acute during the holidays so some extra loving care will be very helpful.
4. Invite your loved one to an uplifting community activity.  Holiday concerts, drives to see colored lights, and religious activities can be a source of connection and enjoyment.  It’s hard to not to smile when you see a child’s joy or a humorous holiday play.  Fun is often in short supply, especially when things are hard.  Strive to bring some joy to your loved one and increase their contact with their community.
5. Be patient and understanding.  Your efforts to bring joy and comfort will be appreciated, even if your hurting loved one can’t express that gratitude right at the moment.  A person dealing with a serious life challenge can be emotionally fragile so be gentle, encouraging, and present.  That understanding is the best possible gift you can provide.

As I mentioned in my last newsletter this year is
quickly coming to a close and I’m finalizing some
of my goals and plans for 2010 as we speak.

In order to properly prepare for the year I would
like to ensure that I’m offering services that are
both important to you and that you value.

I prepared a short 5 question survey that I would
love for you to fill out. Most of the questions are
multiple choice so I can’t see it taking you more
than 3 minutes to complete.

In return for your help, I’m giving away two copies
of my best-selling book; Overcomers, Inc. to two
randomly selected survey participants.

All you have to do in order to participate is click
on this link now —> http://www.tinyurl.com/ykd6rg9
(if the link is not active, just copy and paste the
address into your web browser.)

I greatly appreciate all of your help and look
forward to reading your responses!

Have an amazing week filled with joy, peace,
and love.

With Love and Gratitude,

Joshua Aragon
The Life Meaning Coach

If you have had a tough time this year, due to job loss, illness, the financial crisis, or other heartbreak, you may be dreading the holiday season.  These tips from the authors of Overcomers, Inc: True stories of hope, courage, and inspiration will help you cope:

1. Make taking care of your needs your number one priority this year.  While it is good to care for others, in times of stress, it is easy to get overwhelmed by too much done on other’s behalf.
2. Get enough rest.  If you are feeling sad or stressed, those feelings will intensify if you don’t get enough rest. Be sure you have enough time to recharge your batteries.
3. Create some new traditions.  If this is the first year that you’ll face the holidays after the death of a loved one or post layoff, don’t pretend that life is the same and force yourself to do all the things you’ve always done.  Keep the traditions that feel good to you but add at least one new thing that you will enjoy.  New traditions bring more positive energy into the holiday season.
4. Ask for help.  If you’ve always entertained 35 people with a full course dinner but just don’t feel up to it or can’t afford it, let your loved ones know.  Suggest a pot luck meal, let another family member host the event this year, or have a movie nut with simple snacks.  Match your energy level and your budget to what you can do, not what you’ve always done.
5. Reach out to others in need.  No matter how awful you may feel your life is, there are folks in a more difficult situation.  Sending an afternoon visiting a nursing home, volunteering in a food pantry, or sending a care package to a member of the military will lift your spirits and help you feel needed.

What is it that you cannot see because your eyes have been blindfolded, your hands tied and your ears covered? The answer is you. And who did this to you? The answer again is you did, because you are afraid of who you might find looking back at you through the mirror.

Do you know who you truly are? Are you aware of your true nature? As you begin down the path of living a life with purpose, meaning and fulfillment you must begin to become aware of who and what you truly are. So many of us go through our days with self-imposed limits on our lives that we have come to believe them to be true. Not only that, but we then begin to impose those same limits on the people and world around us as we propagate those thoughts and beliefs throughout our lives in every area.

What is it that you’re hiding from yourself? That’s the question I encourage you to ask of yourself each day. Are the limits you face in your life real, or perceived? Is that obstacle you keep bumping up against on your way to the fulfillment of your desires an internal or external one? Consider for a moment that no external obstacles truly exist but in our minds. Further consider that the only thing holding us back from living the life we came here to live is our own beliefs about who we are.

The ‘limited you’ will come across an obstacle and either try to overcome it by going around, over, through, or below it, or you might turn and go another direction altogether. The ‘real you’ however, when faced with the same obstacle wouldn’t even see it and instead would continue on as if nothing was there and as if anything was possible, since nothing is impossible.

The real truth is that you are powerful beyond measure, boundless to no end, and brighter than any star. The real you knows nothing but abundance, the real you feels nothing but love, and the real you is aware of what your true nature is.

So now again I ask you… Do you know who you truly are?